Spiritual Marriage

A Ketubah in Aramaic, a Jewish marriage-contra...

Image via Wikipedia

What is spiritual marriage? I believe it is helpful to begin by defining marriage itself. According to Merriam Webster dictionary marriage is “a) the state of being united to a person of the opposite sex…in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law, b) the institution whereby individuals are joined in marriage, and c) an intimate or close union. (The photo to the right is a Ketubah in Aramaic, a Jewish marriage contract that outlines the duties of each partner)
The definition of marriage has been in the news concerning whether homosexual marriage should be made lawful. There is much more to marriage than meets the eye and controversy takes focus away from the Truth of holy matrimony and the deeper, spiritual meaning that is only discerned by communion with the Spirit of God.

Marriage, according to the Dictionary of Symbols by Chevalier & Gheerbrant, is the symbol of the loving coitus of man and woman, which in a mystical sense, is also that of Christ’s union with his Church, of God with his Chosen People and  of the soul with God. The marriage of the soul with God is reflected in a Rumi quote “you must marry your soul, that wedding is the way”. The bible says the greatest mystery is the two shall be made one. When the soul marries God, the two become one, and it is the end of a separate self.  In Jungian psychology, marriage symbolizes the union of the feminine principle of the unconscious with the male principle of the spirit. Chevalier & Gheerbrant also describe marriage as deriving from the rites of making life holy. To bring the transcendent God into the body is to make God immanent and present. This is the marriage of spirit and physical matter. It is the inner spiritual marriage that leads to a happy fulfilling outer marriage.

While marriage is thought to be mainly a legal contract or agreement to love, honor, and cherish until death do us part, spiritual marriage is much more complex. I believe that the problem with marriage today, and the reason for so many separations and divorces, is the absence of spiritual marriages. Romantic love was once defined as nature’s anesthesia for bringing two incompatible people together to heal their inner wounds. Unfortunately most people get married in unconscious ignorance and wake up to suffering and wondering “who is this person I find myself married to”. If children were taught about relationships and marriage early in life it would save a lot of heartbreak and mistakes later on.

 Two unconscious egos who transcend the ego in the blush of romantic love, wake up in marriage as strangers with a crowd of parental introjects and subpersonalities vying for attention and healing. If you understand spiritual marriage, you anticipate that this is going to happen and you allow whatever is unhealed within each of you come to the surface to be healed into wholeness. Instead of thinking something strange is going on or projecting blame onto the other for triggering your darkness, you recognize it for what it is and let it go. In spiritual marriage you invoke the power of Spirit to transform and transmute the darkness into light and the fragmentation into wholeness. The deep, sacred relationship of marriage brings up everything that is not love so you can open to deeper and deeper levels of love. Marriage today is most often based on conditional love: I will love you if you make me happy, I will love you as long as I feel the same sexual attraction to you, I will love you if you stay exactly the same.

Spiritual marriage is based on unconditional love. I choose to love you no matter what. I choose to recognize and use the uncomfortable things that arise in us both to fuel the growth of our souls and reunite with the Beloved on a higher level. Spiritual marriage is a commitment to grow through the trials of relationship for the goal of awakening and development of each person’s true spiritual self. Physical marriage is meant to be the training wheels for the real spiritual marriage of the soul to the Beloved. Spiritual marriage is the crucible of transformative love that is able to transform each partner into the divine complete self or anthropos, and reunite each completed self with God.

There are many levels of marriage or union in our psyche on the path to wholeness. The first marriage is the marriage within each partner of the ego and the soul. The second marriage is the inner feminine with the inner masculine within each partner. The third marriage is the outer marriage of male and female. The fourth marriage is the completed anthropos with God. The fifth marriage is between the divine feminine and the divine masculine within. The sixth marriage is the union of the Divine Feminine and Divine Masculine without. The seventh marriage is the union of all opposites, within and without. (To be continued)


About newheavenonearth

I have tasted and seen of the deepest of Loves. O Beautiful One, you have captured my soul! I am in You and You are in me!
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59 Responses to Spiritual Marriage

  1. joecorpen79 says:

    thank you so much…

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Spiritual Husband and Wife are for real and not just some mere fantasy there are wicked demonic spiritual wives and husband that torment physically marriages and especially distract people`s life,this demonic spiritual husband and wives also known as succubus and incubus are very sensitive and can be dangerous on their victims,these demons illegally and spiritually comes to have intercourse with it`s victims whenever asleep making the victim thinks it was just some kind of a mere dreams and a fantasy but this is no joke because this sexual spiritual demons are for real and can torment life miserably but there is a greater POWER under Heaven which is the Holy POWER of our only Savior and Lord Christ Jess which can only SET us Free from any darkness bondage of the darkness forces.
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    Liked by 1 person

    • It is always important to have the discernment of spirits. I am speaking of the One Spirit of God, the Holy Spirit! There are also seven spirits at the throne of God (Revelation 1:4). “Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are of God; for many false prophets have gone out into the world. By this you know the Spirit of God: every spirit which confesses that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is of God” 1 John 4:1


    • Rai says:

      And don’t you think that calling YOURSELF reverend is also TOTALLY UNBIBLICAL? You SHAMELESS HYPOCRITE! Find Me a verse in Scripture where the prophets, disciples and apostles addressed themselves REVEREND! Where was it that Isaiah, Peter and Paul were called Reverend Isaiah, Peter and Paul? ONLY GOD IS REVEREND! Holy and Reverend is HIS Name! (Psalms 111:19) You’re definitely ADDING to the Word of GOD and because of this, GOD will add on you plagues that are written, NOT according to Me BUT according to Revelations 22:18. Yes, in the Scriptures, angels and demons are mentioned BUT what Book in The Bible can you find the words incubus and succubi? REPENT!


      • I can feel your intense passion in your response to Rev Immanuel, Rai. I welcome all sharing and I ask that we maintain “unity of spirit in the bond of peace” and extend mercy, grace, lovingkindness and forgiveness for those who have different opinions. May the Holy Spirit make all things clear and help us to discern the spirits. We all want to be united with the Spirit of Truth and not the spirit of error. May we all worship God in Spirit and Truth; and allow the unconditional Love from our Father’s Heart to pour into our hearts through the Holy Spirit.


  3. brendamarroy says:

    This reminds me of something Sondra Ray said, “Love brings up everything unlike itself for the purpose of healing.” This is a good post. I appreciate your words and your understandable explanations.


  4. NickAndrea19 says:

    WoW! What a great post!.

    I started saying that in my early 20’s. It’s good to hear it again.

    So profound and succinct.

    The Gospel of Thomas, verse 22 says, “… Jesus said to them, “When you make the two one, and when you make the inside like the outside and the outside like the inside, and the above like the below, and when you make the male and the female one and the same, so that the male not be male nor the female female…then will you enter [the Kingdom].”


    • Nick, I love the Gospel of Thomas verse that you quoted!!! Now is the time for integration! Now is the time for union! Now is the time to be the highest version of ourselves; be the new creation made in the image and likeness of God; be the higher version in our relationships; and be the change we want to see in the world! Thank you so much for sharing!


    • This is one of the most beautiful passages, thanks for adding so much to her beautiful article. It is refreshing to bring such a sacred topic in to the glorious light.
      Thank you so much.


  5. Wow wow wow Nick!!! I am so happy for you and your girlfriend!!! Thank you for adding to the Light of the world! May your love radiate out to touch everyone; to uplift, make whole and inspire others to love and be spiritually married!!! “Now to the Beloved who by the power at work within us is able to do far more abundantly than all we ask or imagine, to Christ be the glory” Ephesians 3:20. May your marriage be blessed and abundantly rich in Love!!!!


  6. Pingback: Sex and the spiritual quest – 2 | Cornelius Agrippa

  7. sanora1 says:

    hey, you have my vote.


  8. TNguyen says:

    What a beautiful post! Thank you so much. Nowadays, materialism has blinded many people not able to see this side of marriage, the spiritual side, or the core of any everlasting marriage. It’s just sad that divorce rate is higher by days.
    I have one question to ask, would a man and a woman consider to be “married” in spiritual sense? They’ve never had an oath before the law, and they don’t have intimate act either. However, they have deep compassionate to each other, and have same determination and compassion to achieve a goal. In a sense, they become one soul. The very example of this relationship is Mrs. Elvsted and Eilert Lovborg in the play “Hedda Gabler” by Henrik Ibsen. What do you think?
    Again, thank you very much for such a thoughtful and truly beautiful post.


  9. Brook says:

    the Rumi quote…”you must marry your soul…that marriage is the way.” Very helpful.


  10. james says:

    I think that the whole homosexual issue is just one of complete spiritual confusion in relation to this symbol of marriage in the fullness of the spirit. Just can’t see Gods creation in that confusion. It’s great to get to a point with your spouse where you can let those egos go and just flow with the divine plan. We really do need a “spiritual” marriage with our created counterpart to grow in the wisdom of Gods plan. It is the time for the divine feminine to awaken in all of us, men and women. Remember Mathew 13:33? The woman is the leven, and it is the third day now if you can see it~


  11. markrcmw says:

    Thank you, loved your post! Blessings!


  12. glane8029 says:

    I copied to post so I could print it out and study, some more, the divorce rate among Christians has always bugged me, I like how you dug down into the spiritual side of Marriage, I must admit, I have not given it much thought. Thanks again for the Post


    • Your welcome Greg! I am committed to ending the ripping of hearts, the heart breaking wounds of the heart that pass from generation to generation. Jesus came to heal the brokenhearted and bring heaven to earth so we could rise above the social issues like divorce on earth. Now is the time!


  13. pdjhudonblog says:

    I want to say that your article is very poignant and your explanation is quite clear yet there is one part of the act which is the coupling act, it signifies the total union of the spirit in man with the total union of the HOLY SPIRIT LIFE SOURCE, I have written on this subject a lot and the it is the crux of my BLOG, it is the only way to walk totally in the spirit, there is no other way.


    • Forgive me for this late response! I don’t know how I missed it. Thank you so much for your comment. I’m not sure what “coupling” you are referring to but I know that our human spirit reunited with the Holy Spirit of God is the Ultimate Coupling! Everything else is secondary!


  14. Pami Perry says:

    What are the step in the marriage. And what music is played.


    • I am sorry I am so late in responding to these comments. I value you and all questions. I am not sure what specifically you are referring to but the “answers” that came to my reading your questions were: One step! which is to turn and reconnect with our Maker, Most High God! The music is the music of the spheres, the new song that is sung by the redeemed of the Lord!!! Bless you Pami!


  15. Terry says:

    Every Day! Every Day! Every Day!
    Thank You!!!


  16. Cat says:

    I want to know of any ceremonies for a spiritual marriage that celebrate and bind one soulmate to the other rather than the everyday kind if marriage that every body else does?? My partner and I cannot marry on paper for certain reasons but are soul mates and I want to marry him in another sense, a celebration of our souls meeting and being together forever. Can anyone recommend anything or point me in the right direction ???


    • Cat, I feel that it is really important to pursue The Ultimate Relationship on the spiritual level first, especially when there are obstacles on the physical level as you said, “My partner and I cannot marry on paper for certain reasons” Instead of pushing the river or trying to swim upstream, I would like to invite you to open to receive the wooing and romancing of our Maker who said, “Your Maker is your husband, the Lord of hosts is his name” Isaiah 54:5 and “As the bridegroom rejoices over the bride, so shall I rejoice over you” Isa 62:2-5 and “In that day you will call me, ‘My husband'” Hosea 2:16. Until you are safely in a new covenant relationship with God, until you are solid in your identity as a son of God and a bride of Christ, it is impossible to know with certainty what the highest intention God has for your life. First get into right relationship with our Maker, then receive all the Higher Love into your heart that is beyond romantic love, beyond any concept of love or soul mates. Be filled with all the fullness of God and his amazing unconditional Love before you make any decisions on the physical plane. I wish I had someone to tell me this before I made romantic choices long ago; it would have saved me from much heart ache and broken hearts! Be filled with the Love of Our Father and then let that ultimate Love guide you in spirit and truth! I wish you the very best! God bless you!


    • moragrows says:

      Cat: please read the entire series: http://ringingcedars.com/ A most beautiful spiritual ceremony and understanding of marriage eventually are disclosed to the readers. Also, by learning of the main characters’ journey, one is inspired to forgive, and to always rise in constant love of the “other”, self, and God. I hope this helps! And to the author of this post: THANK YOU! Beautiful message – it could carry us all through the darkest hours of earthly love. Bless you!


  17. Greg, I don’t know why there is no way for me to reply to your second comment above, but I want to say congratulations on your 43 years of marriage to your “one wife for life”. I salute you! I honor you and your true commitment! Thank you for being a man of God!


  18. Someone says:

    Thank you for this post. My husband and I are undergoing tremendous inner transformations. After 7 years of marriage, I experienced spiritual awakening and that came out of sheer darkness. If I had clung to the notions of ‘my spouse should make me happy’, it probably would not have happened so I am grateful for this. Soon after that my husband’s real spiritual journey began as well. It has not been easy but like you said, if you understand this is a spiritual marriage then you let the imbalances bubble up and heal. The ego of course is never satisfied and likes to play mind games. Thus, your post was helpful. Thanks.


    • Thank you for sharing! May your marriage be blessed! May your spiritual Marriage to God in your spirit, reconnect your soul (mind, emotions and will) to your spirit and your body to your soul until you are whole, complete, lacking nothing (James 1:2-4) “Count it all joy when you meet with various trials, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing” Focus on God and not the problem and you will soon realize the “problem” is gone! All we have to do is Love God and Love one another and the rest will take care of itself, or dissolve into the nothingness from which it came. We just wake up to the realization that God is Love and when we let God fill us with unconditional love and acceptance, encounter or experience this Love in our body, we are transformed in Love! Let the River of Living Water pour into your being and overflow with Love!


  19. gmichaud1017 says:

    teht yud kat


  20. Margaret says:

    Thank you for the clarity on spiritual marriage” the way you put it feels right”


  21. I agree with all you say and think marriage is a sacrament. Namaste, Ellen


  22. I’m married and can testify to the beauty and sanctity of a soul relationship based on mutual growth. I married my best friend and soul mate and our marriage is an awesome vehicle for having your ego magnified so you can see it and deal with it. There’s nowhere to hide. For some this might be very scary, but my beloved and I have learned to laugh at our egos and return again and again to the purity and holiness of recognition that we are made of God’s love. When we disagree or fall out (which will happen to everyone) we say ‘wow, do you see what I did there?!’ and we are thankful that all the subtle shades of the ego are slowly being revealed. Blessings to all!


    • Thank you so much for sharing your testimony! Relationships are the place where our “ego is magnified” as you said. Well put! Learning to take ourselves lightly, laugh, and return again and again to what is true, right, pure, beautiful, our inner Christ, our inner connection to God, our perfect oneness with Love, makes Life a Joy! Thank you for stating so beautifully what we all long for: the revealing of pure being, pure awareness of God unfolding within us; the Light of Christ in our inner being expanding, increasing and multiplying until it fills our whole body temple and begins to shine into the world to share the Love and Light of God for all! God bless you!


  23. Thanks so much for enabling reblogging. My tweet says it all – https://twitter.com/earthpages/status/584023697096192000 :)

    Liked by 1 person

  24. Fred acquaye says:

    Verse for spiritual marriage


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