What is spiritual marriage? I believe it is helpful to begin by defining marriage itself. According to Merriam Webster dictionary marriage is “a) the state of being united to a person of the opposite sex…in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law, b) the institution whereby individuals are joined in marriage, and c) an intimate or close union. (The photo to the right is a Ketubah in Aramaic, a Jewish marriage contract that outlines the duties of each partner)
The definition of marriage has been in the news concerning whether homosexual marriage should be made lawful. There is much more to marriage than meets the eye and controversy takes focus away from the Truth of holy matrimony and the deeper, spiritual meaning that is only discerned by communion with the Spirit of God.
Marriage, according to the Dictionary of Symbols by Chevalier & Gheerbrant, is the symbol of the loving coitus of man and woman, which in a mystical sense, is also that of Christ’s union with his Church, of God with his Chosen People and of the soul with God. The marriage of the soul with God is reflected in a Rumi quote “you must marry your soul, that wedding is the way”. The bible says the greatest mystery is the two shall be made one. When the soul marries God, the two become one, and it is the end of a separate self. In Jungian psychology, marriage symbolizes the union of the feminine principle of the unconscious with the male principle of the spirit. Chevalier & Gheerbrant also describe marriage as deriving from the rites of making life holy. To bring the transcendent God into the body is to make God immanent and present. This is the marriage of spirit and physical matter. It is the inner spiritual marriage that leads to a happy fulfilling outer marriage.
While marriage is thought to be mainly a legal contract or agreement to love, honor, and cherish until death do us part, spiritual marriage is much more complex. I believe that the problem with marriage today, and the reason for so many separations and divorces, is the absence of spiritual marriages. Romantic love was once defined as nature’s anesthesia for bringing two incompatible people together to heal their inner wounds. Unfortunately most people get married in unconscious ignorance and wake up to suffering and wondering “who is this person I find myself married to”. If children were taught about relationships and marriage early in life it would save a lot of heartbreak and mistakes later on.
Two unconscious egos who transcend the ego in the blush of romantic love, wake up in marriage as strangers with a crowd of parental introjects and subpersonalities vying for attention and healing. If you understand spiritual marriage, you anticipate that this is going to happen and you allow whatever is unhealed within each of you come to the surface to be healed into wholeness through coming to Jesus the Christ, who heals each individual, the marriage, and brings us to the Father so the “bride” can marry the Bridegroom King of glory and live in a new heaven and new earth where righteousness dwells; the promise of God to his born again children (John 3:3-21).
Instead of thinking something strange is going on or projecting blame onto your spouse for triggering your darkness, you recognize it for what it is and let it go by going directly to Jesus and casting it all upon the Holy One who is alive forevermore to take your burdens and give you rest for your soul so you can enter into the Love you were created in the image and likeness of: the Source of Love: God our Father. In spiritual marriage you invoke the wisdom and power of Holy Spirit to transform by delivering you from the darkness and transferring you into kingdom of the beloved Son, the light of God; from separation to complete in Christ and from fragmentation into wholeness with Christ in you.
The deep, sacred relationship of marriage brings up everything that is not love so you can open to deeper and deeper levels of Love of Christ that fills us with all the fullness of God who works in us to greater than we could ever ask or think. Marriage of this world is based on conditional love: I will love you if you make me happy; meet my needs. I will love you as long as I feel the same sexual attraction to you, I will love you if you stay exactly the same as my idea of you.
Spiritual marriage is based on the unconditional love of our God and Father. I choose to love you no matter what for I receive my love from the Source of Love; a continuous river from the Throne of God. I choose to recognize and use the uncomfortable things that arise in us both to fuel the growth of our souls to reunite with the Beloved on the higher level of the Spirit Realm while living in the natural realm on earth. Spiritual marriage is a commitment to grow through the trials of relationship for the goal of awakening and growth in Christ, maturing each person’s true spiritual self. Physical marriage is meant to be the training wheels for the real spiritual marriage of the soul to the Beloved. Spiritual marriage is the crucible of transformative love that is able to transform each partner into the divine complete self or anthropos; reuniting our soul with Christ the Beloved Bridegroom King of Glory; our completed self in union with God our Father.
There are many levels of marriage in the human psyche on a path to wholeness; but the Way of God is to die to the natural man with Christ and be born anew of the Water of Life and the Spirit of Life in Christ to be reunited with God our Father as bride of the King of Glory living in the Father of Glory’s Spiritual House on earth as it is in heaven, a new heaven and new earth for those with eyes to see and ears to hear and a redeemed heart to spiritually perceive what the Spirit is doing on earth.
Wedding Song (its all about Jesus!)