The word guru literally means the journey from “gu” darkness to “ru” light. It is the process of transmutation from lead to gold, or darkness to light. From Wikipedia: “A traditional etymology of the term “guru” is based on the interplay between darkness and light. The guru is seen as the one who “dispels the darkness of ignorance.”[10][11][12] In some texts it is described that the syllables gu (गु) and ru (रु) stand for darkness and light, respectively.[13]


Jesus is my guru, the One who took me from darkness to the Light of God! When I was seeking, searching, and asking God for Truth, I attended a meditation and maṇḍala class for a masters program in transpersonal psychology with an emphasis in Tibetan buddhism. When doing vajrayana meditation for the first time, we were asked to visualize buddha with our eyes closed. To my great surprise, Jesus appeared to me and said “Come to me you who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest” At his words my belly heated up and this warm, comforting sensation started to rise in my body and when it hit my heart, it exploded like fireworks, chains were broken. I was profoundly affected. The professor asked us to “come back to the room” as the meditation ended and I was tearful and shaken. A fellow student said “your heart just opened” but at the time I did not know what that meant. I left class and instinctively went in search of nature. My feet found bright green, new, spring grass. I took off my shoes, walked barefoot in the grass until I came to an isolated tree, sat down under the tree and surrendered my life to the way, the truth and the life of God. What a journey I was to undertake! What a never-ending journey I am living!!! Conversion is sudden; sanctification is an infinite process!


I went from darkness to light by the ultimate guru speaking words of life, spirit and truth to my being. I was in darkness and questioning all I had ever been taught or conditioned to believe. Jesus brought Light to my body that spread and dissolved chains. Liquid love, as warm, gentle, powerful light of truth, came through my umbilicus, illuminating my solar plexus, and rising to blast open my closed, hardened, wounded heart. It was as if I were being reconnected to a heavenly Mother through a spiritual umbilical cord. The sound vibration of the Words of Truth broke through the veil and blazed a trail of light and love from my belly to my heart!


This event was preceded by the spontaneous baptism of the Holy Spirit’s fire into my crown sitting on my couch in the family room while reading the new testament for the first time out of desperate emotional pain. It was on the third day of God opening up the words of light to me, with one “aha” after another “aha,” that the words became living bread, brilliant light, inspiration, illumination and a paradigm changer for me. On the third day, the fire of Divine Love poured into the top of my head and sent me to the bathtub where the visible presence of the Holy Spirit entered my mouth as ruach, holy breath. As the Spirit of God raised my arms until my hands were fully extended to the sky, I was taken to the heavenly realms and worshiped God at the Throne. Words fail to express the sublime…


Jesus came to me many times after this and there was always a huge shift, a drenching of God-tears, release, healing, transformation and renewal. The thing that has continued to amaze me is the infinite number of possible transformations in a human being. Our potential is so vast, but we can only stand a limited dose of God’s Light at a time! The infusion of such Power of God’s Light is sometimes so overwhelming that we shake, tremble and even fall into unconsciousness at times. God works in mysterious ways!

Tree submerged in water

Tree submerged in water

I have found that the depths of the well of God are unlimited, as are the heights. There is no bottom and there is no top! There is no limit to the vastness of God! Since I have begun to pray to know God more and more, and to know the Beloved’s dunamis, resurrection power, I have gone to another level. So why was I so surprised to find myself at the lowest place I have ever been? My world has shifted yet again in a major way. Somehow I managed to forget that life is an ever-widening spiral that continues to cut a deeper and higher swath in this wild human life ride!


Have you ever noticed that we all have issues, but there seems to be one core life issue that we continue to return at deeper and deeper levels or layers throughout our life time? Maybe this one core challenge holds the hidden key to what we came to earth to experience, resolve and ultimately heal for everyone.

I have experienced another deep betrayal. I won’t go into the details, but this deeper level of pain almost destroyed me. Even while I found myself thinking death would be a good option, the author and finisher of our lives, the Light of the world was with me, even in the depths of darkness. I never lost awareness of God within me, even in the darkest hours, although I stopped being able to hear or see God. Even in the depths of feeling alone, rejected, and despondent, I knew God was with me, even in the midst of despair. When I found that thoughts of doubts about God came into my consciousness, I knew that I was in the midst of a trial by fire. The biggest weapon the enemy has is to try to get us to doubt our true identity as sons/brides of God.


I turned to the world for help and it heightened my darkness as it not only did not help, it made it worse. God is so good! God knows what we need way more than we do! When God seems to have abandoned you, the Beloved is bringing you a way that you have never traveled before. The ultimate learning is that God is never absent, and everything you need is already within you, including the Most High. There is a way that seems right to a human but it leads to destruction. I went deeper down than I thought was possible. The beauty of deepening is that the spiral of light will then be able to arc higher and higher, leading you to places you have never been. Behold, I am doing a new thing. Do you not perceive it?

“The one who follows the crowd will usually go no further than the crowd. The one who walks alone is likely to find himself in places no one has ever been before.” -Albert Einstein


In the depths of darkness I found that emotions, no matter how ugly or shocking, will not kill you. I avoided really feeling the depth of them for a while, but when I finally just let myself feel what I was feeling, I did not fall apart. I could bear the experience because God met me in the darkness. Feeling the depths of despair will not kill you, it will strengthen you like fire removes the impurities of gold!

“This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.

He may be cleaning you out
For some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from the beyond.” Rumi


“You are a Portal through which
the Universe is looking at and exploring itself.”  Alan Watts


“The end result of my life,
is hidden within three statements:

I was raw

I got cooked

and I burned into ashes.” Rumi

I got very raw over human betrayal by the one I trusted the most. I got cooked when I looked to the world for answers and found none. When I went inside myself, I let the deep emotions and pain burn me into ashes. God met me in the fire, and out of the ashes has resurrected me once again to a higher mount.


This morning I woke up feeling the same angst, the swirling thoughts, the icky unconscious darkness feeling. Do you know the sensation when the lower unconscious rises up into conscious awareness? God reminded me to drop from my head into my heart and I had an instant spontaneous breath of new life and sensation of space! God then reminded me to deepen into my body. When I consciously rested in my body, I felt the presence of God grounding and filling me, and I was “home” once again. I got up and noticed that the backed-up, brackish water outside my window, bringing a plague of winged insects to my windows, had receded as they dredged the closed outlet of the river into the ocean once again. Nature, as happens so often with me, mirrored my internal process. Just as the water had backed up because it had no outlet to the sea, my body had been blocked off from the Ocean of Love and Light of God by the shutting down of my heart from deep betrayal. I made my french press coffee, went outside to have devotion time with God, and a bird lit in the top branches of the magnolia tree. It sang a song I have never heard before, piercing and slightly discordant. It was a loud and clear message: I was also to sing a new song; a new vibration that reflected a new level of consciousness within me!


When I came back inside to my meditation room, I was guided to find the manifestation of the betrayal and emotional pain in my body. I became aware of a deep pain in my left chest, like a knife cutting through the center of my left breast and into my chest cavity. God gave me the right tool from my tool bag for this situation: a process called AIT, advanced integrative therapy.

I held my left hand over the pain in my body while I used my right hand to hold every energy center of my body from crown to root as I spoke “this deep pain in my chest”. At each center, Jesus held his powerful hands over my hands, as my body was reconnected, like a battery, bringing healing, transformation and new, pure, revitalized life energy to each part of my being. Images arose, feelings arose, experiences came to my conscious awareness to be transmuted. At the right and left inguinal areas, the masculine and feminine ancestral lineages were healed and transfigured. By the root energy center, the peace of the Lord had fallen and the pain was gone. The barriers to Love were removed and I was reconnected, reunited and made one again with the One Beloved. By reuniting with the Beloved, I was able to reconnect with the depths of my being, nature and KNOW that I am now free to unite with an earthly beloved, the one my soul loves, the one the Beloved has created for me and I for him. Deep, personal, direct, intimate communion with the Beloved is the foundation for all unity.

“Only by finding our unity with the Divine,
can we find our unity with each other” Kabir


“The sojourn of the soul is a divine romance in which the Lover, who in the beginning is conscious of emptiness, frustration, superficiality and the chains of bondage, attains an increasingly fuller expression of Love and finally merges into the unity of the Lover and the Beloved in the supreme and eternal Truth of God as Infinite Love.” Meher Baba


“I am my Beloved’s and my Beloved is mine” Song of Solomon 6:3

I find it funny and ironic that I have found such exquisite, ineffable Love in the Beloved, yet have not seen it manifest in my earthly relationship with my beloved. Today, I was again reassured and reminded to trust God. I was reminded that everything is possible with God. I was reminded that impossible situations have the mark of God on them. The impossible is God’s specialty! I was reminded to not focus on the things of the world, but keep my eyes on Love, to walk in the Light, to trust the One who never lies or deceives, to be still and know that God has my back and my front, my top and my bottom!!! I was reminded to remember the love of God is infinite height, depth, breadth and length, encompassing all. I was reminded that God is bigger than any situation. I am reminded to have faith, which is confidence that God can bring into existence that which does not exist. As I write these words the power went off and came right back on. Everything went black and offline. As I pondered this event, I went around changing the blinking clocks, watched as my television recalibrated, and waited for my computer to come back online, I realized that God was rebooting my life!!! Again, the external was reflecting my inner process in rather amazing ways!!! There are two ways to live life: one is that there is no God or miracles; the other is that everything is a miracle and everything is God!!!


“I’ve been looking for a long, long time,
for this thing called love,
I’ve ridden comets across the sky,
and I’ve looked below and above.
Then one day I looked inside myself,
and this is what I found,
A golden sun residing there,
beaming forth God’s light and sound.” Rumi
I was put into remembrance of my first Love, the Beloved! I was reminded of the words of A Course in Miracles, “Nothing real can be threatened, nothing unreal exists, therein lies the peace of God” I was reminded of its counterpart in the Bhagavad Gita “Fear not. What is not real, never was and never will be. What is real, always was and cannot be destroyed” and that God says we can “call into existence what does not yet exist” Romans 4:17
“For nothing is hidden that shall not be revealed; nor anything secret or not known that won’t come to light” Luke 8:17
Let God shine Light into your darkness and bring you from the darkness of the unconscious to the Light of presence and awareness. Jesus is the ultimate guru!!! Let God take you higher!!! Dare to go to the depths with God to be raised to greater and greater heights! It is all God!!!
The messenger of Heaven is a faithful envoy that brings healing (paraphrase of Proverbs 13:17)
“Let the life of Jesus manifest in your mortal flesh” 2 Cor 4:10
Ask yourself: “Do I manifest the essential sweetness of the Son of God, or the essential irritation of ‘myself’ apart from Jesus?” Oswald Chambers
Transform by the renewal of your mind. Drop your mind into your heart. Allow Jesus to transmute the lead of your heart into his gold. Drop deeper into your body, the temple of the Holy Spirit, and let the Holy Spirit transfigure your body. Let any spots of darkness be transfigured into light. The darkness is passing away and the true light is already shining (1 John 2:8). Move from darkness to light; and from light continue to move from glory to glory! Transform, transmute and transfigure into new being!!!
In my experience with Jesus, the process culminated with an experience of spiritual marriage in the heavenly courts in the Presence of Jesus, Abba and the Holy Spirit.  I KNOW that “Thy Will be done on earth as in heaven” for the Glory of God!!! Amen. Hallelujah!!!!

About NewHeavenOnEarth

I am my Beloved's and He calls me His own!
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9 Responses to Guru?

  1. james says:

    You have one of the most amazing spiritually reflective experiences I have ever read. Please replicate yourself in me and anyone reading! Jesus showed me we can be our own Gurus through the agency of mother father son, is that not total bliss!


  2. Kay says:

    Thank you for sharing. Can you describe details please when you saw Holy Spirit and the “Breath” you mentioned here:
    “On the third day, the fire of Divine Love poured into the top of my head and sent me to the bathtub where the visible presence of the Holy Spirit entered my mouth as ruach, holy breath”


    • As I read the bible I started to get really hot. I thought that I was getting sick with a fever but I kept reading. I had no idea what was happening to me because I had never been taught anything about the Holy Spirit in my childhood religion. I was from a small town in Iowa with a lot of Norwegian Lutherans! I felt compelled to go upstairs and get in a tub of water. When I entered the water (fire united with water) I found myself on my knees with sun streaming through the windows, as I became aware that as I breathed in I could see white mist entering my mouth and when I breathed out I watched the mist swirl, in fascination. I was intrigued by the mist flowing in and out of my mouth, noticing the beauty and awe of something I had never noticed before. As I consciously breathed in again, I was given the awareness that I was breathing the Holy Spirit; that I was actually breathing in and out the Presence of God as holy breath. It blew my mind and the awareness catapulted my heart and my spirit soared heavenward. As I watched this God-breath in amazed, child-like curiosity, my arms started to rise without my doing. Spirit was raising my arms, I had no separate will, I was completely under the Power of the Spirit of God and I found myself praising and worshiping God at the Throne. The only way I can describe it was joy on steroids, sacred, reverent, holy, sublime, precious….actually beyond words and truly ineffable. Later when I finally got to Revelation chapter 4, I recognized the experience and sobbed.


  3. You are welcome Kay!


  4. Pingback: Betrayal | merlinspielen

  5. Ingmar says:

    This is a very nice and inspiring and godly site glorifing Jesus Christ.
    Thank you and God may bless you overwhelmingly.

    Liked by 1 person

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