From where does the spark of Light come forth? How does the Light get in? When does the morning star arise in our heart? The Light can enter when the heart cracks open: it shatters, is broken, is devastated, is shocked with a diagnosis, is forced into a hopeless situation (bad relationship/marriage, prison, hospital, terror, panic)…
“Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift.” Mary Oliver
“Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.” Mary Oliver
The spark for me was found in my unread childhood bible, out of deep despair. The Unseen Hand, the hand of God putting my hands on the forgotten path which opened up when I opened to Matthew and began reading. The Words became Light unto an ancient path; a Lamp revealing ancient Wisdom. God used an inanimate object to reveal Living Presence! In wanting to give up on life, the Omniscient Omnipotent Source showered me with eternal, ever-present, new Life of the Spirit of Truth! The forgotten, ancient path beckoned…
With each new level of revealing, the path became narrower, fewer sojourners alongside, fewer signposts appeared. Joining others on the path they had found felt comfortable and joyous, until it didn’t. Enjoying the comradery, the shared beliefs, the sense of belonging in each shared path until coming up against the hard edges, the contractions, when edges of belief come to view. The meadow of belief systems give way to dark forests without sunlight with dead trees falling…
The sorrow of leaving another group and finding the narrow path again, the path of solitude, the mostly unused path. There are no signposts on this ancient path. There are no rocks stacked one upon an other where others have given pointers. There is no manicured religious path. There is no messy spiritual path. There is only an inner impulse, an invisible GPS, God positioning system, that guides. There is only the Invisible Unseen Uncreated Source of Love beckoning, beckoning….
get the vertical right and the horizontal takes care of itself 🙂
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